29 March 2013

There comes a time when i feel sad, when i feel disappointed or when i feel depressed.

You were right next to me, cheer me up and support my decisions.

You swipe my tears when i was crying. You hug me when i need a hug. You look right into my eyes and always say "don't cry cause i will always be right next to you." You always protect me and help me solving every problems i have.

We face everything together. Cause that's what we meant for, right?

26 March 2013

The time has come. The time when i need to let you go. The time that i hate. The time when we can meet for the last time.
We were looking at each other. Hearing the sound of the wind and just staring, express our feelings just with our eyes.
You and me are thinking the same thing, our memory. We start to move closer and my heart beats faster until i felt his lips on my lips.

23 March 2013

You said you will protect me. You said you will be right next to me whenever i need you. You said that you will cheer me up. You said we will face problems together. You said you will love me, forever.

I believe in you and i started to trust you. But when i did with all of my heart, you broke it into pieces and makes me can't believe in someone else. You just left and didn't tell me the reason.

As the time passed by, i started get used being alone. Being stronger within time and keep waiting for you.
And there's come a time, when i saw you walked right in front of me with another girl. You hold her hand in the same way you hold my hand. You see her eyes like you are so in love with her. You laugh and touch her cheek as she is the only girl in the world. It makes me realise, i need to start a new life.

22 March 2013

You don't want any problems. You don't want a fail.
You hope you will live happily. You hope you will be success in the future

It is like you want a rainbow without a rain.
Without realising there is the word "rain" in every "rainbow"
And you need a rain to create a "rainbow"

20 March 2013

What is "friend"?

Friends are someone who stays by our side for the ups and downs. 

-Celia Alexandra-

Friend is you. We cheer up each other, we jokes with each other and we share things together.

-Diana Permatasari-

Friend is the bridge to find our real love. Friend is the diary we have. Friend lasts forever.

18 March 2013

I did see fireworks every new year party.

I did see rainbow after the rain, in a daylight.

I did see stars shining in the middle of the night.

Those were beautiful things in my life.

But the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, is when I see your smile.

#2

playboy in action

16 March 2013

I love working out in gym.

I love to hang out with friends.

I love sports and play those skateboard.

But don't scared or even, worry

because the one that i love the most is you.

#playboyinaction

#1

14 March 2013

I was born in a poor family. My father kept looking for money. My mother can't cook and always teach me everything she know. I was still a kid back then. I thought that in every family, parents are slept in different room.

But, i grew. And now i understand what our family's condition. I really want to make them back together. But what should i do?

One day, i met a boy, a broken home boy. He told his storied and we fell in love. I told my mother he is the one that close to me right now. I told her about him. But my mother said she doesn't like him. Because he is a broken-home boy.

Since then, i kept thinking. What is the difference between us?

13 March 2013

Dear diary,

        He told me that he want to move to ABC college later on. It is a good college, i should happy for him and support him. But my bad thoughts just popped out and make me scared.
Will he forget me?
Will he move on?
Will he loves the other girl?

Because i know that there are many pretty girls out there. Because i have a friend that is in there, a friend that i envy.
I know that i am stubborn, childish and ridiculous. But i really scared that will happen and i will lost him.

But I decided to trust you with all of my heart. Cause i believe in us.

12 March 2013

I am walking in a path, a path that split into two ways.

He chats with me, he gave me roses, he picked me up at a prom night party.
He said he loves me and hugs me.

We went out and i borrowed his phone to send a message to my sister because i was out of credit.
He let me took it and i sent a message. A sound showed that there is new message, i opened it without seeing the name. Yes, it's like what you thought. It was not my sister. A girl named "Jane" was the sender. It was not his family or cousin. Because i know he ever loves this girl.

I kept my emotion and tried to stopping my tears from falling down. I gives back his phone and act like nothing happen. I said "your friend send you a message awhile ago".

He said nothing and just reply it. I really want to know what was in his mind. He gave me back his phone and i got curious. I opened pictures and found that he had so many pictures of her. Shock at what i saw, i closed it immediately. i opened his instagram and i found that he liked many pictures of her.

I kept thinking cause he never likes my photos.
What did he want?
Why did he say that 3 words?
Why he gives me that hope?

Without your answer, i think i know. It's just the end of us.

12 March 2013

I did what you want, wore a pretty dress and make up. I am not contacting any friend and just staying the whole day in my own room. You keep me. You built a wall between us and you didn't want me to go to your world. I wonder what did you do when you weren't with me. 

But, that was before. I am tired of it . Don't you dare to say my name and go to my house again. Don't you dare to change myself become a doll that you want. Cause we will never ever ever getting back together.

11 March 2013

Feeling nervous, keep walking around and look at the mirror every second. Am i pretty?
Not giving up from the confuse i gain to choose a beautiful dress, hurting my feet by trying over a hundred heels or even sit in front of mirror, doing a simple make up for hours just to impress him.

And he come, to take me to the party tonight. He see me and he looked impressed by me. He say "You are so pretty tonight. But hey, you will always pretty for me, even when your face is without make up."


A gentleman won't say to a girl that she is ugly. Remember always to say that she is pretty because when you don't, she will remember it for her whole life.

A girl doesn't need to use too much make up. Believe that someday, you will have a person that love you, for the way you are.

10 March 2013

girl:

standing alone in the middle of the night
got the wind passed by making me realise
You won't come, you won't come.

But why i just keep standing in there?
believe that you will come, hug me and say sorry

Yes I feel cold and disappointed
I hold my jacket tighter.
But still feel the wind through my whole body.

Hours and hours passed
i feel my eyes become heavy.
i can't feel my body anymore
it becomes cold and my eyes closed slowly.

I dream and feel that someone running and come beside me.
Slightly hear the word stupid from his deep voice.
I think that i heard that voice before.
But my brain doesn't want to compromise with me.
I just felt someone pick me up with their tough and strong arms.




I felt sunlight through my eyes.
It hurts and make me close my eyes even tighter.

But someone keep calling my name
makes me open one of my small eyes
There, i see him staring at me
the one who i was waiting for hours.

I can't help but look at him
waiting for him explain the reason
why he makes me keep waiting?
Was he forgot his promise?

But he just keep quiet and say
"you neet to go now"

My eyes get teary
but i wont let them falling.
not in front of him.

i keep quiet and try to arrange my feelings.
I stand up with my lips closed.
Turn my body and can't stop my tears falling down.
just going out from that place and also, from his life.

boy:

I keep thinking.
am i going to that place?
am i going to keep that promise?
am i going to tell her the truth?

I can't hide from the truth
I can't see her crying.
but also, i can't let the wind make her cold
and i can't makes her waiting any longer if she is.
Even if I hope she know that i will break the promise
and going back to her home.

i never feel this way.
i never feel that someday, a girl will affect me with her little things.
and i decided to check whether she is there or not.

walking slowly and hope that she already gone.
But my eyes see her definitely, in a crouch position.
holding her legs and jacket tightly.
My legs are running and my lips saying "stupid" immediately.

Holding her tightly makes me feel her suffer from the cold snow for hours
My feelings are mixed.
feeling happy and sad at the same time.

why is she waiting for me?
am i this important to her?

I lay her down on my own bed.
Wishing that I was given more time to see her everyday.
And i use that time to see how beautiful she is.

Seeing her eyes closed calmly.
Wipe the snows from her baby skin.
Touch her shiny black hair.
and feel her soft lips on my lips.

Morning come and i feel my time will come.
i must wake her up, tell her my reason and let her go.

I open the window, letting the sunlight come in.
Calling her name again and again.

That is the time. She wake up.
I know that she is waiting for my explanation.
But my words i prepared are lost.
I can't see her anymore.

"you neet to go now"
just come out from my lips.

She starts to walk away.
i want to turn her around and hug her.
kiss her for the last time.
but i keep my hand holding tight in their place.
trying hard to fight with my own feelings.

But it suddenly comes
i try to holdback and endure the sickness i feel
i walk to the table with pain in my head
Writing something important with my shaky hand
Seeing my tears soak part of the paper
and when it comes to the last sentence.. i can't stand it anymore
i just grab my phone and call the doctor, waiting for them while suffering from this sickness.

girl:

I hope that he will turn me around
and hug me in his arm
but he is not

doesn't realise that i am going to the park near his house
My foot just walk into that direction without hesitation

that park,
where we had our memories
when we meet for the first time
and when we kiss for the first time

I just sit on a bench
and let my mind goes around
until i heard the sound that i hate..
the sound of ambulance

It comes nearer and nearer.
and i saw the ambulance stop in front of his complex asking the address.
Panic is the first think i feel and that makes my legs running to his house
I just open his door and go inside his room immediately

freezing in my own place. seeing him
laying down on the floor.

I just fall down and crawl to his place
i can hear he try to call my name
i put my ear near his lips
i say "yes. i can hear you" smoothly.
seeing him like this hurt my hearts
He seems cant stand it anymore
I can feel it.
I just stare at the floor and tears falling down while im saying
"dont force yourself to say it if that hurts you. Im forgiving you for all you did. But please hold it until the doctor pick you up and believe that you will stay alive. for me."
He replies "No.. i cant stand it anymore. i have a cancer and this is the end of it. i just want to say i will always love you forever. whenever you are sad, whenever you need me, you can go to that park and i will be right next to you. Please, dont cry anymore okay?"
And i hug him softly, scared that i will hurt him. "noo. you can't be like this. you must think about me. about us. cause i love you... i love you..."
"here.. lay down beside me.."He rub my head slowly and wipe my tears away until he stop doing it.
i stared at him. my tears keep falling down. I reach his hand and make him rub my head. I hold his hand tightly. "please wake up... who is the one that will protect me if you are gone.. who is the one that will love me like you did..."
But, he didn't wake up. and i know he won't wake up...
I just keep right next to him and hug him even after i know that he won't hug me back.

Days passed
 i build a wall between me and the world.
I go to his house, into his own bedroom.
seeing the memories we had
and i see a paper on his table..

"Dear Ana,
           I dont know if you will read this letter.. Since i makes you waiting for hours in the middle of the night, the last time we met. I am sorry. I know that you feel cold in there. I hope that i can hug you to give you the warm you need. But when you read this letter, maybe i am already gone from the world.
           I feel sick since the last year of our relationship. and it cant helped anymore. Doctor said that my time only 10 months more. But i made it more than 11 months. I am strong enough, right?
          I wonder how happy are you when you are with me. I keep giving you surprises and happiness for the last year, right? I hope so.. And yesterday, we promise to meet at the park in the middle of the night. But, i keep thinking on how should i tell you. Will you cry or will i make you sad. Will you go away or will you support me.
          I dont have much time now. i can't write more but i want to say... You must open your heart to the other. Believe that they are better than me. Don't feel alone and believe that i will always beside you, support you at anything you did. And last, i lov"

it feels hurt. this feelings. i feel sorry. why am i angry to him. i should know this. and he should know.. that i will always support him whenever it is.
I will try.. i will try to open my heart and love other. but i will save part of my heart for you. because i will never forget you in my entire life.

March 9 2013

#giraffe #lee #gwangsoo #runningman #member #stupid #funny #betrayer #easy #brother #cross
#queen #of #asian #spam #1

7 March 2013

The time will come

The time will passed

The time will greet us in any way

It scared us

It shocked us

It made us happy

Many feelings come at a time

Mixed up randomly

Make my mind confused

What to do

What to say

Which one should i choose

Can't decide

Can't choose

Can't think anymore

Those clock still tickling

make a sound that will make you nervous

Maybe, you don't understand

Maybe, you think i was insane

But, believe me.

When those time comes, you will feel the same.

7 March 2013

can't stop my tears. they are falling down when i read this.
language used: indonesian
link: http://id.berita.yahoo.com/ayah-di-jepang-tewas-membeku-melindungi-putrinya-122819855.html

Let's start to change.

Let's start to care.

They are the one who always look for us since we are kid

They work for us

They give us food and drink

They taught us.

How about us?

Just a simple things like "i love you" will make them feel good

6 March 2013

4 March 2013

Whatever you do when she ask you to come, 

you should come.

cause that is the time when she needs you the most.

3 March 2013

It's the first time we met. I was frozen in my place and stared at you.
You greet my friends like you know 'em well.
You went to my place and looked me in the eyes.
"hello" is the first word that came out from your lips.

It's not just i want to kiss that lips.
All of crazy things just came into my mind in a sudden.
But i didn't do even one of those thoughts.

Since then, "hello" is my favourite word.
Without realising that every hello has its own goodbye.

Time passed by and he would like to moved across the world in awhile.
Different situation comes.
Just the two us us, stared at each other.
Depressed with the silence.

"Tik"
is the sound of my tear that was dropped.
It's just so fast that i couldn't react.
I just felt squeezed in a big arm.

It's not hurting me.
It makes me feel safe.
But it is end right away
and he left.

Goodbye is the word he said when he walked away.